Value time

3 weeks ago I went on vacation to Florida had to quarantine for two weeks I will tell you more about it in the coming days but today I want to talk about valuing your time.

There is a saying “yesterday was history tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift that’s why it’s called the present.” In these times of trouble, some of us like myself fail realizes notion 19 years ago people learn how precious time is after 3000 lives 3000 family and we’re changed that day

In 2008 and 2010 people faced the same challenges history was repeating itself Bankers were jumping out of Windows because they lost money the Madoff families lives were changed because of his action and now in 2020 we are facing a new threat over 190,000 live have already Ben lost livelihood have been challenged

I wasted the extra two weeks trying to look for other work trying to occupy my mind as I was staring at four walls I cooked and I cleaned a little bit more ultimately I chose to focus more of those things and when I didn’t want to focus on them anymore I turned to edibles as I watched below deck so I can be more tolerable and I can tolerate as well and i can tolerate as well

Before the trip, I had finally reached the milestone of letting go of the past, facing my demons, and realizing where I went wrong thinking about the time I thought a job was more valuable than my life to the point where I was willing to make my own and valuing my family members all of the accomplishments for it to be wiped away by the quarantine we’re all I was thinking about four provisions making sure that I had enough to pay the bills in case my boss decided not to pay me my vacation or quarantine Pay on top of that I still hadn’t finished reading you’re next five moves until today let alone finish the 10 blogs that I am behind 9 if you count this one.

I have spent the past four years helping people live out their dreams convincing people to do something that I couldn’t which is how I spent my 6 months in California found myself in the same situation where I wanted something I couldn’t have while a part of me just wanted to exist I don’t know why I fell back into the Trap maybe it was because I put a job before God when God was the one who provided that job for me I was stupid after my mother died I went from being an adult to being a teenager I went to California for change but that changes temporary however as temporary as it was I found purpose.

In conclusion I want to thank each and everyone of you who is reading this and I hope it resonates with you remember value time and people everything else comes later in the meantime stay safe stay healthy.

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Depression

I used to struggle with depression a lot blaming myself for things that were not my control loss of a job family feud and the feeling of uselessness after being passed over for promotion a third time it also didn’t help that my mother had just passed away although in the beginning it made me more determined because I knew I had to take care of my family. Being disabled which is something that I’ve always tried to hide from my employers in 2016 I took a six-month sabbatical and I worked for another company in San Francisco while there I decided to try to come to terms with cerebral palsy and tried to except that I would never move up in the world unless I had my own before that my life felt meaning less I started to believe in the lie that my life had no value and the truth is I’m not the only one that feels this way people commit suicide for different reasons because they believe it’s not gonna get any better the truth is it’s just a Permanent solution to a temporary problem so whatever your reason is no three things one your life has value to things will get better and three talk to someone you’re not alone. Reach out to suicide hotline at (800)237-talk 1-800-237-8255